How To Say No Without Guilt

Posted on April 12, 2012 by Joey

morh man calmingDo you find yourself saying ‘yes’ when deep down you wished you had the courage to say ‘no’? I think sometimes we can have a tendency to want to please everyone and keep the peace… but we compromise ourselves in the process.

Would you agree?

How many times have you been so busy you barely have time for yourself, then someone comes along wanting ‘a small favour’ and because you’re kind and nice, you agree to help? If you’re anything like most people I’m sure it’s too many times… am I right?

So today, my invitation to you is to stop trying to please everyone else and begin putting yourself first. I urge you to learn to find the strength inside to say no when you need to… and to stop feeling guilty when you do.

Understand you have a choice

You have the right to say no but what happens is that you choose to relinquish those rights to other people. It is your own beliefs that make you feel that saying no is a very bad thing and will make the other person think badly of you.
Choose to accept responsibility for your feelings and

grant your self permission to say no when you need to.

Wide Slow RiverStay in flow

Remind yourself of your ultimate lifestyle goals that you set for yourself and the commitment you made to make sure every action you take this year will be in flow with your life purpose. Every time you agree to a request that is not in flow with your goals, you take yourself one step away from your ultimate lifestyle.

Don’t over explain your refusal

When I have to decline a request for help, I prefer to keep my response brief… going into great lengthy explanations isn’t necessary. Simply state that you are sorry you have to decline and share your primary reason for doing so. Perhaps end the response with a couple of alternative options they may like to consider instead?

Stop SignIf you delay responding to email requests because you don’t know what to say or feel nervous at the implications of your saying no, then I urge you to sit down today, compose those replies and send them.

If you receive a verbal request and feel uncomfortable about declining immediately, ask for time to think the request over… but don’t then put off responding or put too much energy into worrying about having to refuse. The reality of saying no is far less painful that your inner torment.

Would you like to use this article text on your website or in your ezine? You can, as long as the information below stays intact.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dr Joanna Martin

Dr Joanna Martin is an internationally acclaimed speaker and sought-after educator who has taught over 40,000 people on three continents. She is also the author of the new book “The Lifestyle Shift”.

Today, she trains entrepreneurs and professionals alike in key communication, leadership, and presentation skills. With her partner Greg, through their business, Shift Lifestyle they provide strategy and support for business owners who want a lifestyle, not just a living.

For more information go to: www.joannamartin.tv

Posted in Define Your LIfestyle, Energy Management, Flow, Inspiration, motivation | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Reducing The Feelings Of Isolation As A Home Worker

Posted on April 5, 2012 by Joey

If you are a home worker it can become very isolating if you don’t regularly get to be in the company of others. We often begin our journey into running our own business having only known the corporate lifestyle of “water cooler chats” and social evenings spent in the pub… but as a home worker these bonding experiences are not so easy to come by.

So how can you overcome this?

With the increased use of technology nowadays, there is often less need for face to face communication which can lead you to feel even more isolated. However, this same technology opens up even more routes for networking and keeping in touch with the outside world.

Skype
Bridge The GapA great internet communication tool. You can quickly and easily speak to (and see if you use webcams) anyone with a Skype account anywhere in the world… for free. If you’re feeling isolated, there are millions of other people feeling exactly the same. Why not ‘buddy up’ with another business owner and schedule a five or ten minute Skype conversation each day?

Perhaps you can make this part of your daily accountability schedule with each of you reporting your intentions for the day ahead and supporting the other in getting stuff done?

Social media
Facebook, Twitter, Linked In and forums attract millions of people and you will find lots of like minded people online at any point in time. There are groups for mums, home workers working alone, and many other interest or industry specific groups where people post to share what is happening for them… and to get help with their challenges or blockages.

By becoming involved in these social networks, you can give and receive support in any area… if you approach this with the intention of building relationships, not only will you begin to feel less alone but you also never know where these relationships could lead for you.

Networking
Your NetworkThere are lots of networking groups around the world and the number of women only groups are continually growing too… there is sure to be a group local to you (free or paid) which holds their meetings at a time which suits your lifestyle.

Even the paid networking groups allow you to attend as a visitor once or twice so why not make a commitment to getting along to a meeting this month and meeting some new people? If you’re not used to networking, it can feel pretty scary the first few times but you’ll be so glad you made the effort.

Before you go along, make contact with the organiser to find out the format of the meetings and whether there is a dress code. I always feel more comfortable if I know what to expect ahead of time. I’d recommend you make it known to the organiser that this will be your first visit then they can make sure you are supported.

Meeting friends
Coffee CupI regularly schedule time to meet up with girlfriends for coffee or lunch and this can be a great way to be supported in your journey. Don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself to do something you enjoy.

When we work for ourselves it can be easy to forget to take lunch breaks and if you feel you’re losing touch with friends because you’re always working, why not call up a friend and see if you can schedule a date?

It can be difficult to adjust from the corporate lifestyle to suddenly finding yourself alone at home for hours each day but there are lots of options available to you to be part of a community… even if you can’t meet face to face as often as you’d like.

If you’ve overcome the feelings of isolation in your home working business, please leave me a comment and tell me what worked for you? Do you have a buddy?

Posted in Contribution, Define Your LIfestyle, Energy Management, Flow, Inspiration, motivation | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Mood Changes and The Weather

Posted on March 29, 2012 by Joey

How is the weather where you are today? If it’s sunny and warm, do you find your productivity increases or does it make you feel you’d rather be outside enjoying the glorious weather?

I’ve noticed that my mood changes and my energy levels and motivation are affected by the weather and it has made me think about how our bodies respond to the differences in conditions outside.

Clocks Go ForwardAround this time of year Daylight Saving time changes come into effect and this can have a dramatic impact on our energy levels and motivation too. I know some of my friends over in the UK have felt tired and lethargic in the days since their clocks went forward last weekend.

Here in Melbourne our clocks change in a few days time and we gain an hour for the onset of our Autumn and Winter seasons. The nights will soon be drawing in, the days shorten and the lack of sunlight can cause issues too.

How do the changing seasons make you feel? Often I think the onset of Autumn needs the most adjustment as it can feel like a period of ending whereas we view the arrival of Spring with optimism and hope.

Would you agree?

So how do we manage seasonal mood changes?

The important thing is to acknowledge that the weather is responsible for our mood changes. Grant yourself permission to feel the way you do.

Listen to your body
If you are feeling sluggish and tired, schedule a power nap. It is amazing how invigorating a 20 minute nap can be… You’ll wake feeling energised and raring to go. The beauty of running your own business is that you have total flexibility to work when you are feeling productive… so go ahead, take that nap if you need to.

Countryside TreeGet outdoors
I’m a huge fan of the outdoors and I think it is really important that we make some time to get outside every day. When the weather is cold and wet, it is so tempting to stay indoors in the warm but getting out in the fresh air for even a short time can really help you focus your mind.

Nowadays we spend much of our time in front of our computers in artificial light so I’d urge you to make time to get outside once a day… even if it is just for a walk around the block.

Your work environment
Change your Work EnvironmentMake sure your working conditions are optimum for your needs. Being too hot or too cold means your mind is distracted with thoughts of your discomfort. I know it sounds obvious but keeping your body temperature comfortable will remove those distracting thoughts.

Do you remember how as a child you loved to go and splash around in puddles? Why do we stop doing this as adults? You see, I think that as kids we enjoyed and appreciated the changing seasons as they brought new adventures and experiences. As adults we take less notice of the joys of falling leaves and rain… we notice only the lack of daylight or how dishevelled we look after a heavy downpour.

So my invitation to you is to revisit those childhood pleasures. Go kick some leaves or splash around in puddles… just go and be your child self again and leave your work stress behind for a few minutes.

How does that feel? Pretty good huh?

On the gloriously sunny days, take your lunch outside. Imagine you’re on holiday soaking up the sun in your favourite beach resort with your book. When you return to your desk you’ll feel as though you’ve been away for longer.

Have fun… laugh… and enjoy!

We can’t change the weather or make summer last all year… but we can appreciate all that nature brings to us.

Do you notice mood changes or differences in your energy levels and motivation connected to seasonal weather changes? Are you more productive on sunny days or feel invigorated when the rain comes? Leave me a comment and share your thoughts. I’d love to hear from you.

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The Secret Is a Positive Mental Attitude

Posted on March 22, 2012 by Joey

Have you ever thought that some people seem to get a lot of lucky breaks in their life yet others appear to face a never ending stream of challenges? Perhaps you’ve experienced taking one step forward and two steps back during your journey towards your ultimate lifestyle?

Why do you think this happens? Are we responsible for our own fate or is it just that some people are blessed?

Well there is a theory that we attract the good and bad into our life by our thoughts. If you’ve seen or heard of “The Secret” I expect you are familiar with “The Law of Attraction”?

The Law of Attraction states that when we are facing troubles we dedicate a lot of focus on the difficulties and as a result we attract even more of the same. Yet if we focus on the good stuff in our lives we attract more magic.

Have you heard the saying “you wait ages for a bus and then two arrive”? Until the bus arrives you are totally focussed on its absence…when the bus turns up you stop worrying and move on to thinking about something else…then more buses arrive!

So how can we attract more of life’s goodness?

Well to be honest, I don’t believe that success in life is about luck. Being successful requires some considerable effort and even those who appear to be an “overnight success” have been working hard behind the scenes for many years beforehand to get to where they want to be.

But I do believe that attitude plays a big part in how we deal with the bad times. You know everyone faces difficulties at some point…but you can either view these as a blockage…something that is obstructing you from your goals, or you can view then as a challenge to be overcome before you can continue in your journey.

Victims vs Survivors
I’m sure you’ve met “the victim”? A victim is a person who always sees the negative in every situation and when you speak to them you could begin to believe that every time they try and take a step forward in life, there is a mystery force waiting to knock them back down again.

Yet I’m sure you’ve also met “THE Survivor”? A Survivor may have encountered the exact same obstacles as “The Victim” yet despite this they have turned their life around and in some cases their adversity becomes their driving force or their new life purpose.

And the difference between these two types of people? It’s all down to their attitude!

Under the Law of Attraction, the victim mentality is devoted to their struggles. The adversity defines them and as a result they attract more struggles and never seem to get beyond the bad times.

The survivor mentality focuses on the positives, steps over or manoeuvres around the obstacles and remains steadfast on the road to their goal. As a result, they enjoy more of life’s goodness…their struggles don’t go away but by not dedicating attention to them, more magic happens for them.

It’s also about action
Having a positive mental attitude is great but it isn’t enough on its own…you must take action too. When you understand your life purpose you can make sure that every action you take is in flow and on purpose so that you have the greatest chances of success.

So today I’d invite you to ask yourself if you are devoting enough attention to all of the good stuff around you and not dedicating too much of your energies to the struggles you face in your journey. Are you remaining on purpose or do you allow yourself to be taken off track when you encounter an obstacle.

Now make a commitment to not enabling negative energy to distract you. Look for the lessons that the universe delivers in the form of obstacles and commit to recognising what adversity has taught you and enable those lessons to become a positive force in your journey.

Tell me how you feel about the things that crop up to distract you? Do you let them overcome you or are they stepping stones to be bypassed? Please do share your experiences of triumph over adversity…I’d love to hear your story.

Posted in Business strategies, Contribution, Critical Thinking, Define Your LIfestyle, Energy Management, Flow, Inspiration | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Are you repelling wealth?

Posted on March 15, 2012 by Joey

We are in business to make our difference but we also want to be rewarded for our efforts; we strive for a sizeable income to provide a better lifestyle for our kids, enjoy more holidays, and make an investment or whatever you would do if your income was to significantly increase.

I invite you now to stop for a minute and think about the last time you experienced a sizeable financial gain in your life; whether it was a new contract you won in your business, an inheritance, a savings pot or any other gain.

What happened to the money?
Chasing MoneyYou see, all of us have a relationship with money…good and bad…but your money mindset determines how much wealth you attract into your life.

Let me explain…

Some people save their money, always thinking about the ‘rainy days’ and no matter how much money they have, there is always a sum saved somewhere ‘just in case’.

These people have a positive money mindset; choosing to keep hold of as much as they can for as long as possible. They have a good relationship with money.

Yet others can’t spend their money quickly enough…their investments could be positive such as reinvesting in their business or they may be lavishing their loved ones with ‘objects’ such as new cars or holidays. Nevertheless they don’t keep money in their bank for very long.

The reason I am telling you this is because in order to fulfil your desire for the ultimate lifestyle, you must develop a positive money mindset. If you hold any negative attitudes towards money, you are subconsciously repelling wealth and may never realise your financial freedom.

“If I desire abundance, why am I repelling it when it happens?”

Self limiting beliefs:
Woman ThinkingSometimes we can grow up with a “them and us” experience of wealth that can affect how you view your personal wealth as an adult.

If you’ve ever heard comments such as “he/she is flash” or “they think they’re better because they live in a big house” you can be left with the impression that rich = negative.

So what happens when you start to accumulate wealth is that you feel a sense of guilt and worry people will think you’re not a nice person…so you spend the money.

You won’t be aware you’re acting this way but you might be wondering why you are earning good money but still struggle to pay bills each month. It is your negative money mindset that is driving this behaviour.

Like any self limiting beliefs you have the choice whether to allow them to continue hurting you or not. I wrote a blog earlier this year around self limiting beliefs and I’d urge you to remind yourself how you can overcome these blockages and take action to do so.

If you are striving for financial freedom but finding that wealth generation is a challenge in your lifestyle journey, you may need to work on your money mindset before you will be able to grant yourself permission to attract the financial stability you desire.

Posted in Critical Thinking, Define Your LIfestyle, Flow, Inspiration, Lifestyle Design, motivation, Relections | Tagged , , | 1 Comment